Confessions of an Aspergic

[Lard Arse Michael]

I know I am not a U.N.O.E member anymore; after all, I did nothing to contribute to the group itself apart from take space (and due to my size, A LOT of space!), but I felt I should say a bit about me so you at least know about me.

First of all, I am aspergic, my friend self diagonsed me and I did an online test, therefore making it impossible to not be aspergic. Indeed, I fulfill all the roles like being a master of traps (something I had no interest in at all until I did the test and suddenly gained an interest in it) or being socially awkward (the fact I never leave my man child chair has nothing to do with it).

Secondly, think of something that has dys in front of it, I probably have it, apart from being dysfunctional, I am 100% perfect; which leads to my other illnesses. My main one is dyscalcula which means I cannot do Maths, for example, I could not put two and two together to find out why I was kicked from the group, in my man child world, this would equal 100% aka my perfection. I also have dysgraphia which means I can't write, it isn't to do with the fact I am lazy and fat, but more that this illness is holding me back, despite the fact that if I had dysgraphia, I probably would not be able to type so much on a laptop (which was bought with tax payer's money) or play games as frequently as I do.

Speaking of games, I play so many of them yet I am definetly not rubbish at them. I try my best to finish every single game I buy (with tax payer's money) and generally when I get through one eighth of a game (if that), I watch a Lets Play on youtube and instantly know about the game itself, such as Metroid Prime 2: Echoes, a game I never completed due to how bad I was at it and Bayonetta, a game I barely got far in and blamed it on the obvious sex appeal, I do not like boobs, I prefer to look at my hands (or in the general direction of my own.)

MUSCLE SPASM.

Sorry, I randomly get those from time to time, they generally seem to occur when they are on my mind and when I want sympathy for something. Anyway, moving on swiftly, I also have dyspraxia but meh... that's not an issue.

With these, I have an inability to work so I live off of tax payer's money. I have been told countless times by government officials that I can work but jobs such as cashier bore m- I-I mean, I can't do because of my dyspinguisvirparvulus which is an illness that has been holding me back ever since I became aware of it.

Overall, what can I say? I'm a 22 year old social recluse with nothing to do all day other than play video games even though I could be getting a job, a hobby or even a life; however, the comforts of my man child chair are too much and indeed, the fact I live off of others is too much of a burden for me and I desire more. However, once Conservatives change the benefit policies I will be screwed and have to actually find work for the first time in my greasy haired life.

MUSCLE SPASM.

I'd say peace to you all but you BETRAYED ME FUCKING UNOE I HELPED FOUND THIS CLAN AND I DID EVERYTHING FOR IT AND YOU FUCKING BACKSTABBED ME AND REPLACED ME WITH A GIRL! I'M GOING TO RAGE ABOUT IT ON FORUMS AND NEVER GET OVER IT BECAUSE MEH THE GAME OF LIFE SCREWS ME OVER, ITS NEVER MY FAULT ITS OTHERS!